Pre-Eclampsia: I have it

Where to start? My mom says that I should define pre-eclampsia.

Pre-eclampsia or preeclampsia is a medical condition in which hypertension (i.e. high blood pressure) arises in pregnancy (pregnancy-induced hypertension) in association with significant amounts of protein in the urine.

We went for an ultrasound on Wednesday at my OB where they were going to check the growth, and Gracie had dropped from the 24th percentile to the 13th percentile. She had gained about a pound, but obviously the drop in percentile was concerning. My doctor was out of town (ugh) so I saw one of her partners, who reminded me of Billy Bob Thornton. They took my blood pressure (normal) and my weight (which said I had gained 5 pounds in the last week). I was surprised by the amount I had gained but figured it was because I was weighed on a different scale than I normally weigh there. Due to some mixed messages, they didn't actually take a urine sample that day.

The doctor I saw said it was a concern, but we weren't in dire straights until she dropped under the 10th percentile. He sent me to the perinatologist that day--I wasn't able to get into the same one I've seen twice before, so I saw another one (that I didn't like as much). He also agreed that it wasn't a concern until she dropped under the 10th percentile. My frustration was 1) why do you wait until you hit rock bottom to do something and 2) why can't anyone tell me what's causing this? I was very upset by everything that day. All that they told me was to come back in 2 weeks for a growth scan.

Apparently you can't do growth scans more frequently than that (which is super frustrating).

I already had an appointment scheduled with my OB for Friday, so I went in with three pages of notes and the intent that we were going to leave with a plan. They took my urine sample and my blood pressure before I saw the doctor. My blood pressure was higher than average--my blood pressure normally runs on the low side, so I noticed and made Corey right it down.

Then Dr. O came in and said there was protein in my urine (+2) for the first time ever with them testing it. She did a Blood Pressure check as well and it was even higher than it had been with the medical assistant. All my questions, some of which I had already started into, were no longer the focus of the appointment. She told me that she thought I might have pre-eclampsia and that we needed to do some further testing. She wanted to do another biophysical profile (with the ultrasound) and then send me over to the hospital (which is next door to her office) to monitor my blood pressure for awhile and do a non-stress test. She said that she would likely put me on bed rest through the weekend and have me come back to her office on Monday for further testing.

She said that this could definitely be the cause of all of the issues we've been dealing with in the last 4 weeks. She said that sometimes, the blood vessels will be affected internally and cause problems with the placenta. The placenta can then cause low amniotic fluid and the baby's growth before it shows up with the classic external signs--i.e., high blood pressure and protein in the urine.

Corey and I both looked at each other after she left the room and talked about how relieved we were--finally, an explanation for what might be the root cause of the issues. I had heard of pre-eclampsia and I know people who survived to tell the tale and have very healthy happy children, so I knew that it can often be managed with bed-rest.

We went for our biophysical profile ultrasound, and the baby looked great. Then we went over to the hospital and they started monitoring my blood pressure. The also did a blood test. Once the blood test results came back, Dr. O came to visit us and told us she wanted me to stay overnight to do a 24-hour urine collection (gross) to get a better idea of how things look and see where we should go from there. I was a little bit disappointed that I didn't get to go home, but prepared to stay and do whatever we needed to find out what we needed to do.

The next day, which was Saturday, was covered by the on-call doctor--who happens to be my doctor's husband. This was my first time meeting him, and I liked him a lot. He's very focused and detailed which appeals to my need for data and information. He also gets the opportunity to talk to my doctor at home about what is going on, which I like. After we got the urine collection done, he made the decision to keep me in the hospital another day for observation. My numbers definitely made it clear that I had pre-eclampsia, my blood pressures were still fairly unpredictable, and they didn't feel comfortable sending me home. They still don't, and I'm 99.9% certain I will be in here until Baby Gracie is here.

Since Saturday, I've done 2 more 24-hour urine collections. They've taken my blood 3 times now (and will again tomorrow). They test my blood pressure every 4 hours and they do Non-Stress Tests twice a day. The baby is still looking fantastic. My blood pressure is really good sometimes, and other times it's totally crazy, but never at the levels that they send you straight to delivery for. And every day it seems there is another concern with something that comes back from my labs. My creatinin clearance is higher than normal, definitely in the pre-eclampsia range, but it isn't at the point that they have to deliver. My platelets are low, but not low enough to where they would deliver. Some of my other numbers are a bit wonky. I've got the swelling associated with pre-eclampsia. I haven't been dealing with any headaches which is good and I'm not seeing spots. So far, so good.

So basically, we are in a holding pattern. I'm getting to know the nurses. The baby is still breech, so I will likely be having a c-section. The latest I will go is 37 weeks (February 28th) but if enough things are a concern or one of my numbers gets too low or high (depending on what it is supposed to be) than it's show time for me. I am absolutely thrilled that we got to the 35 week point. I'm nervous we won't get to 36 weeks, and in some ways, I'm also nervous that we will go all the way to 37 weeks with me still in here--I want to do everything I can for the health of my baby, but 2 weeks more in here might send me to the looney bin (I say that, but honestly, if I could get to 37 weeks, it would be a very good thing and I'm willing to do it if I'm able to based on labs and my symptoms).

So now, here I sit in my hospital bed. 35 weeks and 1 day pregnant. Thrilled that I didn't have a Valentine's Day baby. While this isn't what I envisioned I would be doing in my last few weeks of pregnancy, there is only so much you can control. I am trying to look on the bright side of things as much as I can and trying not to let myself go to some of the scary places my brain can go. I'm trying not to think about what eclampsia means (seizures). I'm trying not to worry about my baby possibly having to spend weeks in NICU if she is born with problems related to prematurity. I'm trying not to cry my eyes out about how much I miss my cats. I'm trying not to worry about using too much of my FMLA leave before my baby is born. I'm just trying to let go and realize that nothing I can do at this point other than following doctor's instructions is going to change things.

Bed rest is really much more difficult than I thought it would be. I'm not allowed to get up on my feet except to go to the bathroom and I can take a 5 minute shower once a day. Today I finally got permission to go on wheelchair rides twice a day around the hospital, which is thrilling, as I hadn't left my room since Saturday (when I moved to a bigger room). It's fun getting to see the babies all swaddled up. They look like little burritos. I'm getting a little bit stir crazy. I'm starting up deep conversations with my nurses and talking a little bit too much to the cleaning staff. I feel sick at the idea that I'm not getting to put the finishing touches on my baby girls room--instead, Corey is having to do those things on his own or with the help of my family. It's hard to give up control of something like that for me. And I can't think of a time in my life when I've felt such an urge to do so many things--definitely that nesting instinct kicking in. It's hard handing it over to others, and I really appreciate all that they are doing to help. 

I'm overwhelmed by the amount of support I've received from friends, family members and coworkers. My room is beginning to look like a floral shop. I rarely spend anytime alone without my family around. My husband has been a rock star throughout this whole experience. Overall, the staff here is incredible and so warm and caring. I feel very lucky that me and Gracie are where we are.

My mom has been amazing--she has done all of the laundry for the Newborn and 0-3 month clothing, and all of the sheets and blankets. She has also been helping us with our laundry and so many other things. She spends the night when Corey needs a break (starting a new job in the midst of all of this has been an interesting challenge-lucky he really likes it and the people there are great). My sister has been so great--she gets my mind off of things, she brought me a computer charger because mine currently doesn't work, she brought me great magazines to read and Designing Women DVDs. My dad comes over to the hospital and spends a lot of time with me--he tells me stories and makes me laugh and helps get me centered. My husband has been so sweet and amazingly supportive. I have never loved him more than I do right now. He got me roses for Valentine's Day. We had a romantic Italian dinner last night to celebrate Valentine's Day and the fact that we haven't had a baby yet (woohoo!). We had our favorite dessert and talked about how someday, we would tell Corey about how special this Valentine's Day before her birth was. Last night Corey climbed into my hospital bed and spooned me and Gracie for quite a few hours--eventually he had to go to the cot because the bed can be pretty small, especially when shared with a 8 1/2 month pregnant lady. My blood pressure is consistently lower when he is here.

A couple of nights ago, Corey and I met with the NICU Nurse Practitioner for about an hour. She went over a ton of information and was very helpful--a few things she said stood out, though. One funny thing--she said for a baby to either avoid or be discharged from NICU, they have to act like a "grown up baby." Then she had a whole list of things that defined a grown up baby for them. For some reason, that made me giggle. She also said that if our baby had been born at 34 weeks and 6 days, it's hospital policy that they have to go to NICU. At 35 weeks, it then becomes more about how the baby does and not about their age. Finally, she said that baby girls are much stronger than baby boys. They tend to do better than their male counterparts if they are born early.

I think Grace is a fighter. I think she is a very strong, smart girl. And I know that I love her more than I have ever loved anyone. I can't wait (but I really can wait so don't get any ideas) to meet her.  

--Elizabeth

Random thoughts...

Today I have a lot of random thoughts and things to share, most of which are unrelated to each other. Hopefully this will be an interesting, somewhat entertaining post instead of confusing.

1) The other day I ran a few errands after work and stopped to get food on my way home. I went out to the (dark) parking lot and pressed the button to unlock my car, heard the beeping noise it always makes, opened the door and got into my car. Except it wasn't my car. It was an entirely different silver Camry parked right next to mine, except this one looked like it had been detailed recently and they had a moon roof (jealous!). I started freaking out--what if these people think I'm trying to steal their car? I got out of the car and ran over to mine and got into it, hopefully before anyone saw me. Too weird. I guess this means I also need to look for the flash of my lights whenever I unlock my car to make sure I'm getting into my car.

2) I cannot think of anything more annoying than the sound of ACDC -- except maybe Manheim Steamroller Christmas Carols. They grate my nerves. It's probably my least favorite part of the holidays--I'm not kidding.

3) I'm ridiculously paranoid that people just think I'm fat, and don't realize I'm pregnant.

4) I'm helping with interviewing people at my office this week, and I really think I want to work in Human Resources. I like the idea of helping people understand their benefits and helping with the hiring process, etc. I think that might be a good field for me to look into in the future.

5) Speaking of work, I'm so excited by the fact that I will be off for 11 days in a row at Christmas. I cannot wait! I look forward to doing really super-Christmasy things and baking, watching movies, sitting by the fire, etc. It will be a restful, fun time of year and probably the last time for awhile in my life that I will have a real chance to sleep in, as long as I'm not too uncomfortable while I'm sleeping. I plan to take full advantage of that as long as my body cooperates.

6) Switching topics - Corey exchanged the paint again for what we think is the right color this time and painted most of one whole wall.

7) People keep asking me what I want for my birthday, which is coming up. I have a hard time coming up with things. Because I want is for people to do stuff for me or help me with stuff. Is that terrible? Like coming over to my house and telling me what you think of the paint color in the nursery. Or help with getting rid of our old couch, which is now on the side of our house in our backyard, and is worrying me. I want it out. I don't want some family of vermin to move in on it and build a little home in what used to be our man room couch. All I want for my birthday is a house not in disarray. And preferably decorated for Christmas. I need people's time and elbow grease but it is hard to ask for at such a busy time. Unfortunately, we have also been so busy lately that we are having a hard time getting everything done and a lot of the heavy lifting falls on Corey. There is only so much I can expect him to handle. I feel like a bad wife.

8) I haven't really talked about it on the blog, in part because I was a little bit nervous about it, but my OB asked me to go see a perinatologist to check on the baby's heart and make sure everything look okay. The baby has some risk factors for heart issues, and she just wanted to ensure that everything was fine. They can do a fetal echocardiogram and she said that if they found anything, most times nowadays they could do something to fix it in-utero. Which is amazing to me.

9) Anyway, I went to my appointment today by myself, not realizing that by fetal echo, they would also be doing a regular ultrasound as part of it. Everything looked great with baby's heart--Yay!--and they said that she did in fact look like a she (which is good, because if not, I have a lot of dresses and pink things to return) and I got a great chance to see our baby girl again. First I saw the ultrasound tech, who was really nice and reassuring and printed out a picture of our baby's profile because she said that she was "really cute". She kept saying how everything about the heart looked normal, which was such a relief. Then the doctor came in, who was this sweet, quiet older man, and he agreed that everything looked normal, no need for me to return, the heart looks "excellent" and he said I had "a nice looking baby". I feel very grateful that she is very healthy! I wish Corey could have been with me to see her, I think he would have enjoyed the appointment as much as I did :(

10) So a few funny things related to my appointment this morning. Baby girl had all of her limbs up by her head. At one point, the ultrasound tech was laughing because she was able to get an image with both feet and hands in the picture. She likes to put her hands up next to her face and kick her legs up. There was one time that they were looking at her profile and you could just see this perfect image of her leg extended in a high kick, toe pointing above her head. Could she be a possible future Rockette? Or a soccer player? Or a gymnast? Do we have karate in our future? I'm in full support of anything she wants to do, but she seems to like kicking.

11) They said she is 1 lb 6 ounces, the placenta is posterior and they baby is breech. It is fairly common for baby to be breech at this point, I'm not concerned about it--they usually move around and get in position over the next 15 weeks or so.

12) Other interesting observations: in the waiting room, I saw a 14 year old girl who was 7 months pregnant. She was there with her entire extended family and her little punk/gangster boyfriend. I also saw his underwear because his butt was hanging out of his jeans. Lovely. Anyway, they all seemed thrilled that she was having a baby and I heard her mom going on and on about being a grandma. Of course I think it's good that they aren't abandoning her because she's pregnant, but I was somewhat surprised by the whole scene. I can't help but feel bad for the baby. I need to work on being more empathetic towards the pregnant girl.

13) Also, after filling out my paperwork in the waiting room, I got up to hand in my clipboard and some weird pregnant lady saw me get up and stole the chair that I'd been sitting in. I gave her my evil pregnant lady look when I went to return my seat and found that it had been taken. Why take a chair that you already saw me sitting in?

14) I also parked in the doctor parking area. Oops. Luckily, I wasn't towed. But I guess how do they know I'm not a doctor?

15) This will be my last embarassing story for the day, I promise. During the ultrasound, I had to pull down my panel of my maternity pants and when I got up to leave I half-hazardly pulled my shirt down and forgot to pull up my panel. When I got to work today I walked in, sat down at my desk, and about an hour later I realized that my panel was still down and my shirt was halfway tucked into it. Oh, well. Hopefully not too many people saw me.

If you made it to the end of all of those random thoughts, you are awesome. And you are probably wondering if I need my head examined.

Thanks for reading!

The Tale of Fuzzy the Bear

This is Fuzzy. He is a very sweet, very soft bear. And I honestly feel like we rescued him. And he is already bringing joy to our home.

Corey and I were at Target a couple of weeks ago, looking for an embarassing donut pillow for me to sit on at work and in the car to help with my coccyx pain (we didn't find one, of course). Anyway, we were passing through a main thoroughfare in order to head over to the Halloween department (yay!). We came upon two carts, stacked with random goods that were blocking off the majority of the aisle. The mishmash of items looked like things that had been collected at the front, either through returns or people deciding at the check out that they didn't want something.

As we passed, I noticed our furry fuzzy friend and gave him a pat on the head. After that, SOMEONE (rhymes with Borey Branstrand) came along and knocked him down into the cart. I got mad at Corey about it. That poor bear! And even though we had already walked quite a few feet further, I had a sudden crisis of conscience and turned around. I went back and rescued Fuzzy.

He was on sale for $4.00. His box read that he is newborn friendly. And he has very kind, soulful eyes.

You may think I'm crazy. But this is an inherited problem. My parents always brought stuffed animals to life for us. They would go around and look for the stuffed animal that had the kindest face out of all of the many bears, or elephants, or giraffes. They would make them talk and play to amuse us when we were little. My sister and I always feel a connection to stuffed animals.

We also read the Velveteen Rabbit as children, and that had a great effect on me for the rest of my life.
Anyway, I wanted this bear to have a happy life in a fun home with a baby and two cats and two adults that love him. To live a life unattached from the box he came in.
And I know this sounds silly, but I swear he looks happier since he came into our home. I can't wait for Baby Granstrand to meet him!

Baby has good genes

Today is Corey's 32nd Birthday. I have known him since he was 24, and I swear he gets better looking with each passing year. But as you can see, as we stroll down memory lane, Corey has always been adorable.

Look at those red overalls! And the bowl cut! I love a bowl cut. I know nowadays baby boys often have mohawks and rarely have bowl cuts, but if we have a boy I think we might buck the trend and go with a bowl cut. I might have to invest in a perfect bowl for cutting hair! Anyway, Corey was pretty much the cutest baby ever. Until Lil Bun. And I know Corey is kind of hoping for a boy, if only for the awesome toys. See below:
Corey loved GI Joes. Have you ever seen a cuter toddler with a gun? He looks REAL serious guys.
And apparently, too cool for school. I'm a huge fan of finger guns. Pretty much my favorite hand gesture (I' mean, really, think of the other options) And in the 80's, dressed like a mini Alex P. Keaton? Yes, please.
This is me and Corey during last Thanksgiving's break in Washington visiting his family. He is so adorable! I want to squeeze his face!
I feel so lucky to get to spend the rest of my life with Corey, and to be celebrating another year of his awesomeness. He is the funniest, kindest, most hard-working guy I know and the best person in the world to talk to.
I love you Corey! Happy Birthday!

Lizzie